Bogdanoff
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"DOMP IT"
Bogdanoffs (Bog Boughtus Activatis) are a pair of identical, vaguely humanoid vertebrates of indeterminate age, believed to be native to Western Europe.
Discovery and early history
The two brothers were first discovered in 1762 in rural areas around Cholet, France by a famed explorer Roy Thomas Baker, who brought them to Paris. His reasons were undocumented but it is suspected he saw their potential as circus acts, using their grotesque visage to earn a living. Legend has it the Bogs escaped with the help of curious spectacles, used as a disguise.
The Bogdanoffs quickly rose to prominence throughout Europe, their business accumen and ruthless ugliness lead them to many social circles, noble and royal alike. Traders, entertainers and physicists, there was no problem the Bogs couldn't ignore. By the turn of the century, Igor and Gritchka were household names across the civilized world.
Crypto currency and investigations
Bogdanoffs became heavily involved with the budding concept of digital currency and pushed the envelope with many world governments and groups of interest. By 2016, their wealth skyrocketed, gaining them the attention of criminal investigators and tax collectors. The suspected manipulation of the market has never been proven but the public opinion is that they must be doing something crooked and they only walked free because an unknown force was 'activated'. Many lowly crypto rats lost everything. The Bogs' net worth as of the writing of this document is [REDACTED]$.
Terms derived from the Bogdanoffs
"To Bog one's self" - to irreversibly change one's appearance with monstrously negative outcome.
"To Bog it" - to make a catastrophic mistake or an error in judgement - namely when handling finances.
"Bog Roll" - toilet paper, to wipe one's arse with.
In popular culture
In 2015, Boganoffs appeared in the hit single "Bogda Bogdanoff" by Cyril Hanouna. The song reached Number 1 in North Korean charts 7 years in a row.
Gritchka Bogdanoff appears in an electronic video game titled "Deep Cock Galactic" (2018, dev. by Ghost Shit). He is depicted in both his juvenile and mature forms.
Gritchka provided his voice for the 'Smoker' creature in an electronic video game titled "Left 4 Dead" (2008, dev. by Gaben)
It is commonly believed that Igor starred in the 1980 David Lynch film "The Elephant Man". In an interview with the film's director in 1982, it was revealed that the mask used in the film was a prosthetic, cast from the face of actor Gary Busey.
Trivia
Igor is the biological father of Tommy Wiseau.
Igor earned the 'Order of the Tiger' for his war efforts during the peace of 1919-1938
Gritchka holds the Guiness World Record for being the tallest 5f8 man in the world.
Gritchka was the first choice for the role of Captain Pete "Maverick" Mitchell in the 1986 film "Top Gun". He was replaced with Tom Cruise when his head wouldn't fit into the helmet.
Sciences and impending doom
A study, conducted by professor Pitch Nigly from the ASI (Alabama Swamp Institute), found the Bogdanoffs to not be twins but rather perfect clones of one another. Their origin is still a subject of speculation.
They are also creatures of immense density, both measuring at 18.78 x 103 kg/m3, roughly the same as Uranium. During testing, Igor mentioned a future event, something he called The Great Boggening. Cross referencing this available data and through gathered interviews with the Bogs themselves, Nigly suggests that at some point in time, the Bogs will "unite" or "merge". The Boggening, also refered to as the RagnaBog, would be a cataclysmic event during which an anomaly known as a "Bog hole" would be created. This object would posses an incredible, selective gravity pull and it would suck all traces of botox from the material universe, returning our Solar system back to it's primordial state. Research into this phenomenon is ongoing.